Wednesday, 17 October 2012

A Mer-song

Sometimes, I hear the ocean humming to my ears; then I realize how far from home I am.

I lost myself a little much. A little much I have lost.  I don't know why I did it, all I know is that it's left me dizzy, disoriented. I have lost all sense of who I am, what I will. It is not your fault - not really. I was the fool that hoped, that trusted. I am the fool who took you for my dream.

Why did I ever let anyone become important?!

I need boundaries. I need walls. You are to stay outside.  Stay quiet - I like my peace.  Never again will I let you in. No way will you ever come first again. Hear this, no way! You can do as you will. In my head I have muted you, paused you. Do what you will.

Don't think I am easy.

I was:  for you. There, beneath those trees, near that well trodden path, in a field of rabble, she now lies buried. There is no tombstone marking her passing. All I know, she is gone and I buried her.

I am stripped of her. Now, there is only this bit of me. I have boundaries and I have walls. You will never find me here. Find my walls, find my shell. No, you won't find me.

 Go. Walk free. Head held high. Be whoever you will.

I am me. I don't regret that. Just stay out. I won't let you in.

Go. Walk free. Find your happiness, your place.

I am me.

I am me.

Until I melt into the silent waves and the humming in me is home once again.



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