Monday 10 December 2012

Reasons for disenchantment

If I were to be with you, I would rather I be kind to you. I know I am cruel, unintentionally maybe, still you bring out the worst part of me: the cruel, neurotic, unhappy face of me. I am happy with a lot of people. I make them happy too, even without trying.  A lot of them make me happy, even when I don't crave their company.

Your company I crave....yet, I am cruel and unhappy with you.

How then can I be with you? I don't want to be that person you know. I don't love you, that's true. Still wouldn't it be good if I could be happy with you, happy for you - happy that you are you and I am me, and we are together. I think about trying. I try.

Shouldn't happiness be effortless? Should it be effortless? Does it even matter!

I say goodbye now. You see,  I would rather I be kind to you - one good reason for disenchantment. 

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